Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Bible Bacon Fest that never was

If you asked me the type of person I'd expect to meet when entering into a new city, the last guy I'd think of would be the guy Jesus encountered. The first person who greeted Jesus when he stepped off the boat in Garsenes wasn't a sweet old woman with a basket full of friendship bread and a twinkle in her eyes. Instead, he was met by a demon-possessed, homeless and naked, living-in-the-local-cemetery man, who seemed to be having a bit of an inner conflict.

Before the man even had a chance to say, "Help me, there's a demon in my body! ARGGHHH get away! Just kidding, I love you! NOOOOO I DON'T!", Jesus had already commanded the demon out of him. He just looked at the man and knew something was up. Or down, in this situation.

But the man wasn't filled with just one demon, he was housing a plethora of parasitic, soul-sucking hell-raisers, and the demons were none-too-pleased about the prospect of being sent home to papa. In fact, they were scared humanless. The mere sight of Jesus made them shriek and leave their host, knowing that their wild days of partying and mayhem were over.

Fortunately for the demons, there happened to be a large herd of pigs feeding on the hillside nearby. Unfortunately for the shepherd who owned the pigs, his herd was about to get dealt with.

"Please let us go into the pigs! Don't send us back to the underworld" the herd of demons cried. 
Jesus said ok, and the demons entered into the pigs. The entire herd of about 2000 demon-possessed pigs proceeded to bolt to the nearest cliff, fling themselves off it, and drown. If only someone had had the foresight to start a massive bonfire, the town could have had bacon for months.

(Luke 8:26-39)

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