Monday, December 2, 2013

Thanksgiving Part I: The day that pretty much wasn't awkward

In this Part I of Thanksgiving, you’ll see how Thanksgiving Day was mainly a day of celebrating averting awkwardness.
In tomorrow’s Part II of Thanksgiving, you’ll see how the day after Thanksgiving I was asked out awkwardly by two guys. Excitement!

I spent Thanksgiving with Adrienne's boyfriend's (Chris) family, and I thought it was going to be quite awkward, especially considering Adrienne had only just met them a few days prior and she said there wouldn't be any board games or puppies to play with. But in a surprising plot twist, a bundle of fun was had. Chris' dad Cordell is super white despite his obvious black man's name and his mom Carol is super no-nonsense. Right when I walked in, she barked, "Adrienne's sister! Grab me that chair!" I fell in love with her immediately.

They also had a few family friends over who had kids our age that we dined with at the kids' table. Aside from the twenty-somethings, I had the great privilege of meeting a fourteen-year-old girl who was the most stereotypical teenager I have ever met. She had straight blond hair and wore black tights and UGG boots and whenever we talked about football, she'd whine and say, "Let's talk about the Kardashians! OhMyGosh so last week, Kim was...." She also pulled out her pink bedazzled phone and thrust it toward the ceiling lamp, which made Adrienne and I visibly cower in our seats exactly like when Belle tells Beast to step into the light.

Then, one of the guys there who actually lived in the neighborhood said he had a 7 month old golden retriever puppy at home. So a couple of us moseyed over there, took a shot of Thanksgiving tequila for good measure, then brought the dog back and made my dreams come true.

The awkward moments of the night were at an all-time low of two.
No. 1:
One of the moms, Cathy, said to Adrienne, “You’re so nice!" Then she turned slightly to look at me and didn't say anything. 
I said, “Cathy! You made it sound like you're actually saying, "Adrienne, you're so nice! Your sister on the other hand..."" 
Cathy replied, "No, I've just known her 30 minutes longer, so you have 30 minutes to catch up." 
"Well in that case, 'How are you doing, beautiful eyes."
Her daughter quickly jumped in with, "Hey, quit hitting on my mom!"

No. 2:
I left to use the bathroom and as I was leaving, Carol shouted, "First door on the left!" and then some other nonsense.
"Thanks Carol, but I've been there many times!" I shouted back.
Then I realized she wanted me to grab the Pictionary game, but instead everyone heard me yell about how much I like urinating in her house.

But other than that, not too shabby!

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