At least it's not a Sharknado

"I just heard about the flash flooding in Boulder! Did that affect you or your apartment at all?" our needlessly worried mother asked, waking Adrienne at the tender time of 7:30am.

Adrienne groaned and groggily replied, "I just got up. I don't think so."

Then she stepped on the carpet to as resounding of a squish as a squish can be.

"Nope. Nope! Nope! NOPE! NOPE!"

We quickly realized that our day has just turned into a massive game of 'The floor is lava' that we did not remember signing up to play. This was our first natural disaster, and it soon became apparent that we had no idea what to do except yell, "Chanticleer! Chanticleer!" and hope that would make the sun come out. When that didn't work, we pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps and brushed our teeth.

Next, we dressed for success, so I put on my Lions sweatshirt. I immediately started feeling like a champ who could probably suck out all the water with a straw and sheer willpower

I wanted to be a winner, or at least start strong before inexplicably falling apart

Then Adrienne began texting her friends: 

The new pool is open at my place! Come swim in our living room and grab a pancake from the poolside kitchen bar! 

Seriously though, anyone have fans I can borrow?

It's walk in warm!

Some were quite helpful and offered us places to stay and numerous fans, others, not so much.

Lance: Why do you need a fan?

Ad: It's the only way I know how to take care of a flood.

Lance: Do you have central heating or heated floorboards?

Then she yelled at her phone: DO YOU HAVE A FAN OR NOT LANCE!

John: I don't know if you've thought about it, but now is probably the most logical time to fill your apartment with dirt and prairie dogs.

Aud: You're right! My priorities have been all wrong!

John: You're just a glass half-empty kind of person. This is an opportunity, not a disaster!

Then we began assessing the damage.

Of course the Bible isn't damaged at all. Show off.

Let this be a lesson in cleanliness

You are not as waterproof as you claim to be, pants!

Results of: "Can the Pastula girls handle a natural disaster?" are still pending.

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