Sunday, December 9, 2012

I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding blood

This weekend's awkward moments. Take I.

              I turned the last corner of my run at what I thought was a reasonable speed. Actually, perhaps it wasn’t my speed that mattered; that massive ice patch would have grounded anyone.
             I hit the pavement hard, and quickly evaluated what just went down.              
Why ice patch, why? I am literally .01 miles from my office door!
Are my hands scraped? Hands scrapes are the worst. Oo, nice save Walmart gloves!
            Is my wrist broken? Nope. You took a beating, wrist. Good job!
            Did my tights rip? Still intact. Another win!
            Okay, quick. Get up before someone from that car you fell right next to asks if you’re ok.               
I jogged sullenly back into the empty office and sat down at my boss’ computer to finish my work.
After a few minutes, I noticed a dark spot on the seat.  My leg was bleeding through my tights onto my boss’ black leather chair.    
                I not-so-quickly hobbled to the bathroom and cleaned up the mysterious wound in my leg. I was under the impression that if my tights weren’t broken, my skin shouldn’t be either. I held toilet paper on my thigh and walked back to the office to find a band aid.
                Luckily, one of the other interns had recently walked in.
                “Hey, I like your shiny black tights,” Debbie said.
                “I’m bleeding through my pants!” I responded in a tizzy.
                Debbie stared at me for a split second.
                “I’m sorry, that sounded weird,” I continued. “I fell and my leg is now bleeding through my tights, so I need a Band-Aid! And I just bled all over Megan’s computer chair.”
                Debbie quickly acquired a band-aid while I quickly sanitized the chair, and the only thing left unmended that night was the ice patch I cracked with my solid fall.
Bonus Moments:
                That awkward moment when the woman in the office next door asks you if you were the assistant that was pregnant, because if so, I sure bounced back quickly.
                That awkward moment when a group of fire fighters walk in the building and your friend points at you and yells, “It’s Audrey’s birthday!!”
                That awkward moment when you see someone you met a month ago, but you’re not sure if you’re well-acquainted enough to acknowledge their existence, so you stare at them until they make eye contact, and then keep staring at them until they do a double take, at which you point you feel it’s now ok to loudly say “HEY!” across the grocery store. Yeah, that moment. 

No comments:

Post a Comment