Monday, September 12, 2011

Drop it like it's hot, or a theatre class.

There’s a new professor on campus with a freshly printed doctorate teaching scriptwriting this semester. She sent us a brief email introducing herself prior to the beginning of the semester.
On the first day of class, she strode over to me.
Professor: Hi! I’m Dr. Katie. I don’t believe we’ve met yet.
Audrey: I wonder if she’s related to Dr. Laura. Hi, I’m Audrey.
Dr. Katie: What’s your major?
Audrey: Communications. What’s yours?
Dr. Katie: Well, I teach this class… My major was… (etc.)
I almost transferred out right then and there. If Dr. Katie can’t understand my sarcasm, how can I expect her to understand my soul?
Jim was just kidding, Leonard.
He knows you're solely a doctor.
I didn’t drop the class then. I thought I could move forward. Then I realized what the class was about.Dr. Katie: So who are your guys’ favorite playwrights and characters?
Oh no. This is a theatre course.
Student: Shakespeare!
I then tuned out, because he stole the only relevant word I knew in that discussion.
I figured I could keep quiet and she wouldn’t notice that I despise plays and nearly everything associated with theatre.
Dr. Katie: Audrey, who’s your favorite character?
Audrey: …Hermione.
Strike 2. One more, and I’m dropping this class.

Hey, look at me, I'm a moron!
Prof: What do you guys like to see in plays? What are you passionate about?
Animals. But I’m going to keep my mouth shut in case my opinion is wrong.

Student: Love.
What?  I thought we were talking about objects, like mullets and the color green. You can't see love. Student 2: Good conquering evil.
Wait. We could read Twilight based on these answers.
Strike 3.  

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