Tuesday, October 9, 2012

If you don't know, then I'm not telling you

One day, Jesus was at the Temple preaching the Gospel to the people. The leading priests and religious leaders saw him doing this and became quite peeved. They stormed up to him and demanded, “By what authority are you doing all these things? Who gave you the right to do this?”
Jesus, undoubtedly prepared for this, responded with the classic teacher line, “Let me answer your question with another question: Tell me, did John’s authority to baptize come from heaven, or was it merely human?”
The religious leaders huddled together and conferred in anxious and mildly befuddled tones, much like the replacement referees of recent times.
“If we say it was from heaven, he’ll ask why we didn’t believe John. But if we say it was merely human, the people will stone us because they believe John was a prophet! We're in quite the kosher pickle!” A leader exclaimed.
After much discussion, one of the elders finally stepped forward and declared, “After further review, we think the Seahawks did in fact score the touchdown.”
“Simon, that’s not what we decided!” the priests exclaimed indignantly. “Because in fact," one of the priests said as he stepped forward haughtily, "we have decided that we don’t know!”
They subsequently high-fived at this groundbreaking revelation.
“Well if you don’t know, then I’m not telling you,” Jesus replied, turning back to preach to his people and leaving the elders dumbfounded yet again. “Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the wicked farmers parable which is actually about these here religious leaders. Spoiler alert: they die in the end.”

Luke 20:1-19

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